Leave a “Kill Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character killing yours.
He supposed the nightmares should have prepared him for this, darkspawn invading their camp as soon as bare feet hoisted up his exhausted body.
Theven’s swords clanged and slashed and swung against the creatures that had injected this festering swell of hate into his heart. One after the other, he and his party condemned those who had in turn condemned him to a life he had never wanted.
All around him were the cries of pain and victory, urging him on even as his body protested. Theven could only do so much, and hoped the others could get on by themselves.
Eyes catch a hold of a struggling companion, her shouts in a language he couldn’t understand hooking on his ears. He runs to her, swords rising as he bellows, drawing them closer until he can—
His gaze snaps to a lone figure just barely out of sight, clothed and looking oddly…solid. As if they weren’t corrupted to the point of bone and sickness.
The…thing…looks up, connecting their eyes and suddenly Theven can’t breathe, can’t move. A darkspawn’s weapon slices against his arm, blood dripping from the wound openly, forcing a hiss from clenching teeth.Theven tears himself away from the other, her words falling on now-deaf ears as he trudges forwards, pain seeping into his every step. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but finding out what he hopes isn’t true.
What he hopes he can fix.
“Tamlen!“ He calls, voice rough from the interrupted rest and battle. The creature stirs then, nearly-blank eyes widening for a moment before its head is shaking almost violently, hands moving outwards to stop the advancing elf.
"No. Please. Stay back! Don’t want…To hurt you..!”
A sudden coldness grips the warden’s heart, body refusing to listen to his no-doubt friend’s pleas. “Tamlen…Tamlen listen to me. I can help you. We can help you. Please, lath, it is so good to see you.”
The battle behind him continues on, but the sight before him is enough for him to forget, enough for him to reach out a bloodied hand and hold his friend’s, his love’s, cheek one more time.
Tamlen runs from him then, once again screaming for him to stay away. He knows he won’t hurt him, knows he can help him if only Tamlen would listen.
It brings a sob to his throat as he recalls how stubborn the other elf had always been.
He follows anyway, stumbling with heavy pants as the wound across his arm begins to take its toll. Theven can tend to it later, deal with Wynne’s berating and even suffer through Morrigan’s taunts. For now, all that matters is saving Tamlen, saving his love and holding him again.
“Tamlen,” He starts, finally catching up to the fleeing man. “Please don’t run. It has been an age, you know. What happened? Why didn’t you tell me you were here? No, no. Don’t answer, we’ll have time to talk endlessly when we fix you—”
“Can’t fix me.” He interrupts, head shaking once again, head bowed and eyes lowered. “I am…sick!”
Theven doesn’t know what to say, speechless as he waits for the other to elaborate. When he doesn’t, he steps forward.
Only to have Tamlen scream at him.
“Lethallin…the song. It..calls to me. Please, end it!”
And suddenly, it all makes sense.
The eluvian, his own taint, Tamlen’s transformation into this corrupted creature, this…monster. He doesn’t have free will like this, his speech stuttered and body tense, as if he were restraining himself. Probably was, he muses, swallowing around the lump in his throat.
Tamlen…Is beyond his help.
When he moves closer again, the sick, twisted version of his friend doesn’t run, doesn’t even twitch as he wraps arms around him, taking a deep breath. He won’t cry, can’t cry, even if all he wants to do is exactly that. Maybe scream and throw a few things, the injustice of a man who deserved so much ending up like…this.
“Please, lethallin. I cannot…hold on much longer.”
Head buries to the other elf’s neck, skin sick and burned. Theven doesn’t care, a ragged noise tearing through his lips as he feels arms tentatively rest against him, not holding yet still there.
“Forgive me.” The warden whispers, injured hand moving to let loose the dagger at his side, the pain he feels almost in retaliation for what crime he is about to commit.
Creators have mercy on his soul.
Dark blood stains him, feeling heavier, dirtier, than any blood he has spilled before. The dagger slides in easily, Tamlen’s sickened body jumping slightly until those arms slip from him, the man himself giving a sad smile.
“Thank you.”
Theven doesn’t feel like he deserves it.
Tamlen lies against the ground now, and so does he.
He waits and watches as his lover passes from the world for good, wishing those dead eyes held the light blue, that the smooth head was covered in wavy blond. The distant sounds of battle eventually dies down, the only noise their shallow breaths; his from holding back, Tamlen’s from being mere moments away from death.
A mangled hand reaches for him and he gladly takes it, exhaling shakily as he says his final farewell.
When the other eventually does pass, hand going limp in his grip, Theven lets himself break, sobs and cries and tears ripping from him, his own arm snatching back as if he had been burned. He’s a monster, a murderous fiend who had killed the only man he had ever loved. It’s heartbreaking to face the fact that he had killed him, not some Darkspawn or late reaction. He had willingly killed his best friend.
He wishes it were him and not Tamlen.
When the others find him, he snarls. Rages and commands them away. He doesn’t need them here, doesn’t need their pity and sad gazes. He is a warrior, a proud Dalish hunter and a Warden. He doesn’t need to be comforted at a loss.
Theven sleeps next to the cold body that night, unable to truly fall to his dreams. They always hold a certain laugh, a certain smile, that only reminds him of what he had given up.
He hates Duncan for doing this, hates Tamlen for dragging them off to the cave, hates the shems who had told his friend of the cave.
Most of all, he hates himself.
And no matter how hard he pleas, he knows he won’t be forgiven.
【✖】
There were so many things she regretted. So many lost
changes and missed opportunities. Things she could
never say… She wasn’t sure why she’d come, sneaking
away from her camp with Duncan in the middle of the
night to return to the ruins he’d found her at. Both he and
Marethari had told her that Tamlen was lost. Consumed
by the taint that now coursed through her blood. It would
kill her too, they’d warned, but could she honestly say
she cared? Tamlen was…Bare feet carried her through the ruins, the corpses of
the creatures she and Tamlen had slain were no where
in sight, as if the whole thing had been a bad dream.
As she wandered through the barren halls, she half
expected Tamlen to burst from the shadows in hopes
of giving her a fright, big stupid grin plastered across his
face.A tightness grew in her chest, as though a hand held her
heart in a tight fist. Nothing stirred within the ruins save
for the leaves she disturbed with her passage. He would
be here, she told herself. He was waiting for her in that
room, and when he heard her come for him, he would
turn and smile and ask her what took so long. She would
laugh and apologize, and they’d go home. Everything
would be fine.An eerie light reflected off the Eluvian where there should
be none. The fist tightened around her heart. Tamlen
was no where to be seen. Listlessly, her feet carried her
to the mirror, though she refused to touch it. She wanted
nothing more than to smash it into tiny pieces.❝ Tamlen? ❞ Her voice sounded hollow, a tremble in
the pitch the only emotion she could muster. Tighter
and tighter that fist squeezed her heart until she thought
she would die from the pain of it. Sinking to the floor
before the massive looking glass, she gazed hopelessly
at its strangely reflectionless surface, as tough hoping to
catch a glimpse of the one it’d stolen from her.Do you want to watch the sunset with me?
Unbidden, the words came to her mind. He asked her that,
just the other night, but she’d been too caught up in her
studies to make time for him. And now he was gone… out
of her reach forever…Wetness touched her face, tears she had been unaware
she’d shed rolling down pale cheeks. If was like she had
been walking around in a state of comfortable numbness,
and it was only with the realization that her childhood
friend was gone that her grief crashed over her. The
young Keeper’s First curled in on herself, hands clutching
at her chest where she was sure a hole gaped in the
place where Tamlen once resided.
Sobs and half choked please echoed through the stone
ruins, but no one answered. And no one ever would.
